Ben Stiller claims he ‘fucked up’ as the father of his two children, but insists his separation from their mother was the best thing that could have happened to the family unit.
The actor and director will shed light on his complicated upbringing as the son of legendary comedy duo Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara in the upcoming documentary, Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost.
Released October 17, the new film will document his parents’ wildly successful comedic partnership and the impact their burgeoning careers had on Stiller and his sister, Amy, who often stayed home while the couple went on tour.
“It totally affected us,” he recalled. “I just remember missing them so much. And when they would come back, my sister and I would play Jesus Christ Superstar or something in the ballroom.
‘But then, I probably messed up more with my kids than my parents messed up with us…my son told me that being a dad might not be at the top of my list.’
Father of children Ella, 23, and Quinn, 20, with actress wife Christine Taylor, Stiller admits that managing his own career as a successful actor made it impossible to avoid the mistakes made by his own parents.
Ben Stiller claims he ‘fucked up’ as father to his two children, but insists his separation from their mother was the best thing that could have happened to the family unit (pictured in 2013)
Stiller admits that managing his own career as a successful actor made it impossible to avoid the mistakes made by his own parents
He told the Sunday schedules: ‘Like any parent, I remember things that weren’t happy about my childhood and I say, ‘I’ll do better.’ And then I realized that it was impossible to avoid making the mistakes they made.
‘I feel like I have a great relationship with my children, but it’s complicated and sometimes tense.
‘When they were young, I didn’t understand. I thought: “Ah, the children are young, I can work outside the home and be a good father earning for my family”.
“But the bonds you form with your children when they are young are so important.”
The family unit was shattered in 2017 when Stiller and Taylor – his co-star in the comedy classics Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story and Zoolander – announced their separation after 17 years of marriage.
The couple would reunite in 2020 as the world adjusted to national lockdown restrictions brought on by the coronavirus pandemic, and Still believes the three-year separation had a paradoxical effect on their relationship.
“It damaged my relationships with the kids,” he recalled. ‘And I thought, ‘Well, my parents never did that.’ But a long relationship is difficult. You lose your freshness.
‘I feel bad for what our breakup did to the kids, but it was possibly the best thing that happened to me and Christine. This changed our relationship. We no longer take this for granted, and if you are happy, you will be a better parent.
The actor will shine a light on his own upbringing as the son of comedy duo Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara in the new documentary, Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost (photo: Stiller practices violin for his parents in 1972)
(LR) Anne Meara, Jerry Stiller, Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor attend an event in 2008
‘You have obstacles and you try to resolve them, and if you do, all you can do is acknowledge the past and try to make amends.
‘That’s what we have in our family. It’s not perfect – not at all. But that’s just life.
Stiller previously recalled how he was inspired by his parents’ commitment to each other to never lose hope in the possibility of reconciliation by reuniting with his wife during the pandemic.
“My father was committed to turning their relationship into something where they could make a living doing comedy,” he said The Hollywood Reporter.
“And my mom wasn’t really into it, but she was really good at it, and it affected their relationship.”
Stiller starred alongside wife Taylor in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story and Zoolander (photo)
Stiller’s parents were a husband and wife comedy team who made frequent appearances on TV variety shows (Anne Meara and Jerry Stiller seen in 1979)
Ultimately, Stiller acknowledged that he began to repeat some of his parents’ dynamics when it came to allowing his career to impact his marriage.
“You start making movies, and if they don’t do well, it affects me,” he said.
After he and Taylor split in 2017, Stiller said he didn’t expect them to “get back together.”
‘When we broke up, there was a part of me that wasn’t ready to just give up. Probably a certain part of that is from watching my parents,” he admitted.
“And I love Christine, I love my family, and I wasn’t ready to just say, ‘OK, enough of that.’
Stiller’s parents remained married from 1954 until his death in 2015. His father passed away five years later in 2020.
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